


electric blue for me

by icedmachinery, icemachine



Category: Doom Patrol (TV)
Genre: Gen, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:21:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22726816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/icedmachinery/pseuds/icedmachinery, https://archiveofourown.org/users/icemachine/pseuds/icemachine
Summary: “You know,” Larry says, whispers, turning and curling onto his side, “I’ve always hated Valentine’s day.”The words are externally directed towards the Spirit, but his mind is collapsing slow; he is also speaking to distract himself from his thoughts.
Relationships: John Bowers/Larry Trainor, Keeg Bovo & Larry Trainor
Comments: 2
Kudos: 57





	electric blue for me

**Author's Note:**

> please ignore the fact that im posting this almost 2 days after valentine's day

“You know,” Larry says, whispers, turning and curling onto his side, “I’ve always hated Valentine’s day.”

The words are externally directed towards the Spirit, but his mind is collapsing slow; he is also speaking to distract himself from his thoughts, to keep himself from drowning in the acidic waters of memory. He knows that, knows that the Spirit can feel it, too. It must pity him, because there’s a thrumming of blue underneath the blankets. It’s - something o’clock in the morning, he’s too afraid to check the time. He just can’t  _ sleep.  _ Sleep brings dreams in the form of a wound, and the wound in the form of a sickening reminder.

_ You don’t have to choose me, but you have to make a choice. _

He feels the water burst into his lungs.

“Every year on February 14th,” he says, without meaning to, like a cancer, “I’d take Sheryl out to dinner. It was always to the nicest restaurant in the area… I’d buy her anything she wanted, anything off the menu, any dessert. And then I’d surprise her with a… piece of jewelry that I spent weeks picking out.” He laughs, hollow. “I was so scared that I’d fuck it up and she’d find out that it had to be  _ perfect.  _ Valentine’s day was the one day a year that I was a good husband, but… none of that was real.”

If he was still able to cry, if he was uncharred—-

“John hated it, too,” he continues. “He always said he wanted to spend it with me, and I always said that, as much as I wanted to, I had to be there for my wife. It ended in a big fight nearly every time… and looking back on it now…. I don’t know.” He pulls the blankets over his head, up to his face, imagines smothering himself. “Maybe I should’ve trusted him. No, I—-I should have listened.” A sigh, full-chest. “I guess there’s nothing I can do about it now, so—”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


He awakens with a flash of light, multiple flashes of light, behind his eyes as they adjust—

“You wanna tell me what we’re doing here, Lar?”

_ John.  _ Oh.  _ Oh. _

This is new.

They’re in a restaurant. Larry is sitting across from John, who is  _ radiant,  _ who is sipping wine with soft lips & donned in a cloud-white suit that makes Larry’s body stir and tingle and ache--- _ yearn.  _

John places his wine glass down on the table and reaches over to take Larry’s hand. The feeling of John’s skin against his skin, the sensation of  _ touch— _

It is too much to process.

“I…. I’m not sure,” Larry admits, and embraces his honesty. 

John smiles. “It doesn’t matter. We’re  _ here,  _ Larry. We’re—-”

“Happy Valentine’s Day, you two. What can I get you?”

They’re entirely too engrossed in one another to notice the waitress. She seems warm, and her grin feels genuine; she’s not judging them, she is not frightened, she’s  _ open.  _ It is a calming sight, and Larry tries to chew apart his anxieties.

“Um,” he starts, “I don’t really know—”

“Oh, that’s fine!” She waves in dismissal. “I’ll just get y’all today’s special. You know, it’s  _ so  _ heartwarming to see people so  _ obviously  _ in love. That’s why it’s my favorite holiday. Anyway, I’ll be back.”

She spins, the ends of her dress brushing against Larry’s arm, and walks away in a skip.

_ So obviously in love,  _ Larry thinks.  _ Obvious.  _ Oh. God. It’s obvious.

He’s dreaming. This is a gift from the Spirit. None of this is real, he knows this logically, but the fear is still omnipresent, the fear is still unbearable.

“Larry,” John whispers. “Don’t be scared.”

“I’m not scared.”

“Your face says otherwise,” he tells Larry, words so gentle and soft that it makes Larry feel moments away from bursting. “Hey. I don’t know what’s going on, but we’re here together. No one can get us. Can we just be together? We were never able to do this, so can we do it now? Please?”

It feels like he’s begging, which makes Larry’s body sink even further.  _ This is his fault— _

But John is right.

“Okay,” Larry says, and he’s forcing himself to smile back. “Okay, yeah.”

“Happy Valentine’s day, Larry.”

“Happy Valentine’s, John.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Larry is thrust back into reality, the sun is out. It is dawn. He feels at peace, well-rested. And—-

And there is a pink card on his chest.

He sits up. On the front is a drawing of a heart-shaped donut, with the words  _ YOU DONUT KNOW HOW MUCH YOU’RE LOVED  _ written on the donut in white frosting. The inside of the card is blank, but Larry is intelligent enough to know that this is… from the Spirit, somehow. He momentarily entertains the thought of it terrorizing a Hallmark store and stealing a card while everyone cowers, but decides that he doesn’t really want to know how it was acquired.

Instead he simply holds it to his chest. He says nothing, only holds it to the light & feels his yearning subside like calm ocean waters. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> [ here ](https://www.americangreetings.com/detail/paper-cards/valentines-day/donut-valentines-day-card/pn/prod3803) is the card keeg gives larry
> 
> pls kudos and comment if enjoyed!


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